Swimming for all I'm worth

This is a post I wrote last year. I don't know why it didn't get published I am sure I had good reason then. I am sharing it now because the insights are still good advice-stay in the now and focus on God's love.

Moments like the one I am experiencing right now are the times that could drag me down into the depths. I am sitting here feeling sad, ready to cry for no reason. Also, a bit lonely. I miss the friends I made in Memphis and the life I had there. Things are different here and I have not been able to connect with a group of friends like I did in Memphis. So, the question is, how do I deal with my feelings in this moment so I don't drown in the swirling currents of depression?

I have things to do this weekend. On Saturday I am volunteering for the children's Easter party at my church. Then, Saturday night I am going to dinner with my cousins. So, although in this moment I am feeling lonely I know that I will be involved in activities this weekend. Grounding myself in reality helps keep me in the shallows rather than the deep, dark waters.

If I can keep changing my thoughts and focusing on the positives, I should be able to keep myself on an even emotional plane. That's what I can do on my own. Now, I also need to depend on God's strength to pull me out of the shallows. Focusing on God's eternal love changes my perspective.

I am a loved, forgiven, cherished child of God. And so, my dear reader, are you.

From Chocolate Bunnies to Grace

Easter is a very special day for me. It is the day God opened the eyes of my heart and showed me what it means to be a Christian.

Before that Easter Sunday I never really understood what the big deal about Easter was. Ok, we have the Easter Bunny that hides colored eggs and leaves chocolate in our baskets. I do love hard-boiled eggs and chocolate bunnies, but, come on,  Easter isn't Christmas.

And what was all that stuff leading up to Easter? People with ashes on their foreheads, all that fish on Fridays, palms. Really, ashes on your forehead??? I love my red meat, so if you think I'm ever giving up meat on Fridays you have got to be kidding me!

Easter means spring. Pretty dresses, ham and potatoes for dinner, jump ropes and sidewalk chalk. Oh, and all those pretty pastel colors. Groundhogs may let us know how long winter is going to be, but Easter tells me spring is here! Oh...and Cadbury Eggs.

But on that specific Easter Sunday as I was sitting in church with my dad, something amazing happened to me. All of a sudden I was at the crucifixion, looking up at Jesus on the cross. We all have an image of that day in our heads but then I saw more. Jesus was pulling all the sin of the world for all time into himself. The sin of the past, the sin of the present, and the sin of the future was coming out of the people and going into Jesus. Jesus, pure and holy covered in the blackness of sin.

     From the sixth hour to the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. Matthew 27:45

Once Jesus became sin a light started emanating from Jesus' heart, bright and pure. Intense, white-hot light started as a small point then exploded out of Jesus turning Jesus into Holy Light and reaching out from Jesus to the people, covering humans with the love, grace, and mercy of God. This is the ultimate gift from God, the secret of Christianity, the joy of living in God's love. Jesus took the deepest, darkest sin from us and purified us through his holiness.

     "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen! Luke 24:5,6

My words leave much to be desired, there are no words to describe what I saw and felt that day. It was an awesome, amazing, life changing experience. Can you imagine being filled with all of the evil of the world, not just the evil at that moment, but the evil that would be committed throughout all time? Jesus had to be buried in that tomb, to take all that evil back where it belonged. Jesus did not stay with that evil...He buried our sins and then rose from the grave to cover us with His etermal LOVE and GRACE.

Thank you LORD above for sending Your Son, pure and holy, to take our sins as the ultimate sacrifice. Thank you, for giving Your children on earth a bridge to Your presence and holiness. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

I would love to hear your testimonies, please share a special moment, a turning point, a time in your life that God intervened.

Easter Bunny picture by:
Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=4387">Image: debspoons / FreeDigitalPhotos.net


Crucifixion picture by:
Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=440">Image: bela_kiefer / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

God's Voice

Dear Readers,
This is a long post, but you can read it in sections. I previously posted these as notes on facebook and wanted to share them here. The words below describe a spritual turning point in my life, how I went from talking to God to having a conversation with God. I pray that you are inspired and blessed.

Learning to Hear God’s Voice, Part 1: Be Prepared

Since moving to Memphis and attending Hope I have developed a deep, intimate relationship with God. My closeness with God has grown through fellowship, Bible study, Sunday school class, services, and amazing models. I was employed in a very challenging situation and found support through the people at Hope. I cried out to God in my distress and He heard my prayers. I was blessed in many ways outside of my work but work itself remained difficult and emotionally draining. All through this time I talked to God. Silently, out loud, on my knees, while I was driving, all throughout the day in my heart at work, but I never had the sense that I was having a conversation with God. I knew that He heard my prayers and was working in my life, but I never heard God's voice inside of me. Even when I crashed my truck on I-40 in rush hour during the pouring rain and I know God reached His hands down and protected me from harm, I did not hear His voice.

My job ended before Memoral Day weekend. It ended on a very bad note and shattered my confidence in my career choice. I have been praying about what I should do next. I asked God to guide me, to put me where my gifts, talents, and skills will be used to His purpose. I have been praying about where I should be looking for employment and what industry I should be looking in. All I kept getting at this point was "Be Prepared." This was just a feeling, a thought that kept repeating in my head.

Be prepared? For what? A new teaching position? What grade should I plan for? I bought some books on organizing the first weeks of school and developing a good classroom management system. I purchased 5-subject notebooks and new pens to start planning lessons. I figured I would plan for second grade, then I could adjust the lessons for first or third. I worked on my resume. I looked for jobs. I worried about how my last position ended. Be prepared. Hmmm...I'll try.

Learning to Hear God’s Voice Part 2: Wait, and seek Godly Advice

 

A friend informed me of a possible position in the field I used to work in. It sounded like a good opportunity so I revamped my resume to highlight my experience and skills in that field. I spent hours working on the perfect cover letter. I was confused as to how to apply so I emailed and faxed my cover letter and resume. I submitted that same resume to a few other positions I saw posted in the classifieds or on company websites. I received a response from one organization telling me I was not qualified for the position. No response from the other organizations.

June 27, 2011: My mom's eye surgery is scheduled for tomorrow and although it is a pretty routine surgery for the doctor, it is always risky when someone goes into surgery. My mom called me and told me that she was informed the landlord would be bringing people to view the house. If the landlord is selling the house, then my mom, sister, and kids have to find a new place to live. This was a lot to worry about for my mom on top of the surgery. When I heard this I thought to myself that I might want to peruse the job market in NY. Maybe it was time to move back. I saw a couple of positions I would be interested in and forwarded my resume and cover letter. Then I started praying in earnest. I prayed for my mom to come through her surgery well. I prayed about the housing situation. I prayed for guidance and wisdom in making a decision about staying in Memphis or returning to NY.

June 28, 2011: I opened my Bible, and my study guides and started looking up references on decision making. I figured that if I wanted guidance, it would be in God's word. After reading verses in both old and new testaments, and cross-referencing, and praying God told me to wait! The word was not to make a rash decision, to seek godly counsel, and to wait for God to answer. This is a significant command to someone who often makes impulsive decisions. Decisions like coming home from the car dealership with two new cars instead of one, because I was jealous that my sister was getting a new car and not me! But, I am a new person so now I will listen to God. God says "Wait!" I wait. Waiting is hard, especially when you feel like things could just crumble into dust any minute. God's time is not my time, I am only human.

Then the Lord said to Cain,"Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right sin crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Gen 4:6-7 NIV

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Proverbs 15:22 NIV

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor 10:31 NIV

June 28, 2011 Later in the Day: Later this same day God reminded me that I am supposed to be reading Job. I have read the first three chapters, and have found myself distracted by other things and acting a bit like Jonah, running away from the hard things God tells us to do. So, I opened Job and read chapter 4. At this point Job has had all of his wealth and children taken away as a test of his loyalty and righteousness toward God. Job does not curse God, even though he has become destitute and childless. Then Job is tested again, but this time Job is afflicted with painful sores all over his body. Job's wife encourages him to curse God and die, but Job says no, we accept good from God, we must accept suffering also. Job suffers greatly from these sores and has some friends come to visit him, they sit for seven days and nights without speaking and then Job opens up and expresses his pain and sorrow and curses the day of his birth, but still not God. Finally we come to Job 4. In this chapter Job's friend Eliphaz speaks to Job telling him to lay his problems before the lord. Eliphaz tells Job to focus on the good things he has done in life and reminds Job that God does not destroy the upright. God is now telling me to remember that I have done good things, I have affected people's lives for the better and that I need to remember these things! Also, I should be confident because of my faith. Again God is telling me to listen to people who give Godly advice. And finally, I am to remain godly in my actions. All of that from the first six verses! Continuing on in Job, God directs me to pray and lay my burdens before Him. God performs miracles and provides for the needy.

Think how you have instructed many, how you have strengthened feeble hands. Your words supported those who stumbled; you have strengthened faltering knees. But trouble comes to you and you are dismayed. Should not your piety be your confidence and your blameless ways your hope? Job 4:3-6 NIV

But if I were you I would appeal to God, I would lay my cause before Him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. Job 4:8-9 NIV

Learning to Hear God’s Voice Part 3: Go!

Okay, short and sweet since the last two times I tried to write this I lost it.

I got a call for an interview in NY on July 1. I made an appointment for July 11, giving myself time to drive to NY and have a vacation. I was conflicted, not knowing if I should even go on an interview because I really didn't want to move back. But then, did it really matter what I wanted or what God wants? Well, how do I know what God wants? I have to listen for His voice. How? How do I know when God is telling me something? Pray. Pray. Pray. Be still and quiet. Read Scripture.

On Saturday I awoke and immediately started praying for guidance about the situation. After praying I went to the Bible. I opened to Mark 6:1 Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples.

Wow! That is pretty specific, Jesus went to his HOMEtown. Now, if the word had been home, I may have considered Denver, because I consider Denver home. but my Hometown? That is in NY where I was born, lived the first years of my life, and have extended family. God is talking, I am listening.

But, I was bothered by the second part of the verse, that Jesus was accompanied by his disciples. What does that mean for me? Am I supposed to take someone with me? I don't know, I will have to ask for clarity on that. I started making plans to move instead of vacation. I put notices out about my furniture, looked up the route, called family to see if I could stay with them.

On Sunday July 3, I attended Sunday School and church service. I cried during Sunday School because I was going to miss everyone, and I could feel God's spirit moving our class in a positive direction. I was just getting involved on committees and excited to be a part of the great things happening in HSC. But I knew God was telling me to go. I still wasn't happy about it. After class the singles all go to service together. This is when the most amazing thing happened!!!

During the worship music before the sermon there was a phrase in one of the songs about God turning darkness into light. At this point a feeling of peace came over me and I felt God's presence. I felt God telling me that He would turn my darkness into light and my darkness is in NY. I had to go so that He could do His work to finish cleaning out the dark parts of my soul. Then, on top of that I had an epiphany about the second part of the verse. "Taking his disciples with him" did not mean that I was supposed to take anyone with me. I am a disciple and Jesus is taking me to my hometown. In my hometown I am supposed to bring my new light, Jesus, to help others see. Once I had this epiphany a sense of peace came over me. I felt sure that the move was the right decision, that it was God's decision and I was doing what God wanted.

After that it was not easy, but not as hard to say goodbye to my friends in Memphis. I am sure I will see them again, and I will keep in touch via fb and email and phone.

I praise God for the things I learned while I was in Memphis, for bringing me closer to Him, for providing godly mentors, great friends, and providing for my needs. I thank God for teaching me how to study the bible on my own, and for grounding me in the old testament with the Patriarchs. I had a spiritual awakening in Memphis and I am a new person! My faith in God will see me through here in NY and God will provide for my needs.

Blessings to you my friends!

Welcome to NY Tim Tebow!

Ok people, I am going crazy with excitement here. Tim Tebow is a NY Jet! I spent all last football season hoping for national broadcasts of Bronco games or going to restuarants with NFL Ticket so I could watch the Broncos, and ESPECIALLY Tebow. But now all I have to do is follow the Jets and hope they give him some play time. I have no clue what they have planned for Tebow but I am very excited that he is here in NY.

A Happy Moment

Thanks to my Dad for being my first follower!

An Hour for Myself

Today, I tried something new-acupuncture. I was always a bit fearful of acupuncture, wasn't really sure that I wanted those needles sticking out of me. Well, I loved it. If I could I would go every day!

I have been so sore for months and the doctor told me too bad, it is just aging. Phooey, I'm not old yet! A coworker recommended I try acupuncture and I am glad I did. She spent a lot of time using acupressure techniques first, working on my neck muscles. Then she used the needles. All I felt was a slight prick that went away pretty much immediately.

When I left I could turn my neck both directions with no pain. I could breathe better (I have a sinus issue going on) and I just felt better.

My recommendation is that if you ever get the chance, try it!

Rooting Out the Doubt

Let your roots grow down into Him.

Let your lives be built on Him.

Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught

and you will overflow with thankfulness.

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and power to do what pleases Him.

Live clean innocent lives as children of God.

Hold firmly to the Word of Life.

Excerpt from: Philippians 2 and Colossians

(Thank you ro www.godsgracefulness.com for permission to repost)

This was just what I needed to hear today! If you have been following my blog you know I have been given verses about growing roots, settling down. This last week has been filled with doubt for me.

My nephew heard something during children's church two Sundays ago that didn't sit well with him. So, he asked me and I didn't have a good answer. I told him I would find out. The answer was not what I wanted to hear...but God's ways are not our ways. Well, this gave doubt an open door.

I have a bachelor's degree in Anthropology. I have a curious and inquiring mind and I like to find out facts. This is one reason I have had a difficult time with becoming a Christian. The reason I bring this up now is not to get into the science/religion debate but to let you know that I like to analyze things and think things through. I like things to make sense.  I want to Know!

When I read the above post from God's Gracefulness I felt God telling me to remain faithful, that the roots he wants me to grow are spiritual roots. He wants me to "settle down" with Him and my faith.

I have been going to two churches, of different denominations. Doesn't seem like it should be a big deal. But that has also let the enemy in to confuse me. My spiritual roots aren't deep enough yet. I am still a spiritual baby, and I crave pure spiritual milk. I need to get that spiritual milk from one place to decrease the confusion.

I pray the Lord plants me in the garden in which He wants my roots to grow deep so that I may bloom and bring joy to others. Amen

A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

Holy Father, I pray that Your Spirit washes me with Your Word so that I may be holy in your sight. Lord, I lay my burdens at your feet, fill me with peace and love and take away the demons of anxiety and irritability and depresion. Lord, I yearn to have a gentle and quiet spirt which is worthy to you. You have given me beautiful and holy role models, Lord show me the way to quiet my spirit and be gentle towards myself and others. In Your Name I pray, Amen

This was the Word God gave me this morning. A gentle and quiet spirit. How I yearn to have a gentle and quiet spirit. Intolerance, impatience, irritability get in the way. Selfish pride gets in the way.

I repeated this verse every time I felt myself becoming irritated today. God showed me that I was being selfish and this selfishness is an obstacle to finding peace. I kept my thoughts on God and called on Him to quiet my soul when the feelings of irritability started. I slipped this evening though, and I pray for grace. God is showing me where it is most difficult for me to remain gentle-in my interactions with my sister. Lord, help me see my sister as You do, as Your child precious in Your sight. Fill me with Your love for her. Help me to keep patience and have a gentle and quiet spirit in my interactions with my sister. Amen.

God also let me know that my pride gets in the way. I never thought I was prideful...but God has shown me that I was wrong. Pride is a funny thing, our world says we need pride-parents, teachers, other caring people in our lives tell us they are proud when we do something they approve of. We are also told to be proud of ourselves. It develops self esteem and confidence. As God's children we are to be in this world but not of this world. Pride is of this world. Lord, thank you for showing me my prideful ways. Wash my pride away with Your Word, Your loving kindness, and Your grace. Allow Your love and light to shine through me and All Glory to You!

And I thought I was Crazy!

Ok, I am watching Say Yes to the Dress and this girl is shopping for her dress without having been proposed to. She has even bought dresses before and then sold them on ebay. Now, I wanted to get married real bad. I purchased magazines and looked at venues. I planned it all in my head. Isn't that what most girls do? Don't we all plan our weddings from the time we can think about getting married? But I never went shopping for or purchased a dress without actually being engaged.

Singleness is something I struggle with daily. So why do I watch Say Yes to the Dress? Because I love seeing the women turn into beautiful princesses! There is something about when the bride finds the right dress, she is transformed. And, there are times the show gives me hope. My favorite Say Yes to the Dress is Big Bliss...but sometimes even on the other shows they have plus size brides. When I see the plus size brides it gives me hope that if I have the opportunity to be a bride, I can find a dress and be beautiful too.

Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2164">Image: Rosen Georgiev / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I hear you Lord, but I don't understand yet

Last night I prayed for my cousin who I haven't seen since I was a little girl and for some others that needed prayer. I was given verses to share to encourage and lift up these wonderful people. After I shared the verses I read the Psalm again and felt a verse call out to me. God must want me to notice that verse. Well, maybe I am just wishful, I doubt God has really given me this verse since I'm sure (in my own mind) that there is no chance of a relationship in my future.

Tonight my niece handed me my Kindle because she had finished her book. My sister was using my computer so I turned on the Kindle and started reading. Wouldn't you know it, the Lord put that same verse in the second paragraph I was reading. If I put this verse together with a verse from earlier in the week it sounds like God may be telling me there is a family in my future. That isn't a longing I want to open up right now because it leads straight into the deepest depths of depression. But, this is God talking. Is God telling me to open my heart to the possiblity? Or is God telling me that I am home with family-my mom, my sister, niece, and nephew?

Let me share the verses. First, I was given a passage in Jeremiah. I posted previously on Jeremiah 29:5-Build houses and settle down, plant gardens and eat what they produce. But that was only the beginning of the passage. The next verse states:

Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. (Jer 29:6)

And here is the verse from last night and tonight: Psalm 68:6

God sets the lonely in families

I am lonely Lord, and I would love for You to set me in a family. Lord, if this is Your will for my life, open my heart and my mind and my life to the person you have planned. If it is Your will that being set in  a family means continuing to live with mom, sister, niece and nephew please give me the wisdom to understand this and accept this with a grateful heart.

If I have any readers out there that would like to offer some Godly advice, I am all ears...ummm...eyes.

Do Something You Enjoy!

Depression is a chronic disease and does not just go away. It lies in wait, looking for a way to sneak in and take over again. For someone that has suffered with depression for years it is fairly easy to slip into the shallows of depression, and once you are in the shallows it isn't long before you are drowning in the deep, dark waters.

One way I have found to keep depression at bay is to do things I enjoy. Of course, finding those things can be difficult, especially if you are like me and have spent most of your life avoiding fun things.

In Memphis I learned to relax and have fun. I started meeting some friends on Friday or Saturday nights to dance. It was a good group and everyone looked out for everyone else. Yes, we went to bars but most of us did not drink. We went to enjoy the music and dance.

Dance?!? Yes, dance. I actually got on a dance floor in a public place. More than once! I know some people will never believe this without prroof, so here is a picture.

Look-not only am I dancing but I am smiling! I think I smiled more in the six months I was in Memphis than I did my entire life before then.

Now, I have not gone out dancing since I have moved back to NY. In fact I have been in the shallows and flirting with the deep. But I am starting to find things I enjoy doing here. One of the things I find that I enjoy is writing this blog. I can't wait to come home and write. It gives me purpose, accountability, and best of all motivation!

This weekend I am going to a Women's breakfast. I went to one last month and enjoyed it so I am going again. I am signing up for volunteer opportunities. My sister planned a fun weekend for my birthday in May. So, you see, I am finding things to do that I enjoy.

What things do you enjoy that help keep depression away?

Peace and Prosperity Upon this Place

Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.

Jer. 29:7

Not only is God telling me to plant gardens (I really hope He doesn't mean that literally because I have the biggest black thumb ever), He is telling me to pray for the city to which He has brought me. I have never thought about praying for a place before, but this verse has been nagging at me for days.

God brought me to this place through scripture (Mark 6:1 7/2/11).

God told me to settle down in this place (Jer. 29:5 2/28/12)

Now God says I need to pray for this place (Jer. 29:7 3/5/12)

Dear Lord,

I come before you tonight in obedience to Your word. I pray for your blessing over the Hudson Valley, that You bring prosperity and ecomomic recovery to this place. Lord, I pray that Your Spirit flows through Your people in this area to those in need of Your love, grace, and mercy. I pray for renewal and uplifting. Lord, I pray for Your peace over this place to which You have brought me.

In Your Son's Holy Name,
Amen

Build houses and plant gardens.

I wrote this on February 29, 2012. I am sharing it here because the next post relates to this one!

I fought the Lord's Word to move back to NY. In general I have never had good experiences here (in NY) and opportunity is limited. I miss Memphis and I miss Denver but I know that this is where God wants me.

I am thankful that God brought me back to NY because I was able to see my grandfather before he passed away and was here to support my family through the difficult time.
I am thankful for my job that I love.

I have lived here now for almost eight months and I have just started attending a church regularly. Oh, I would visit a church but then I would find a reason not to go back. Then I wouldn't go to any church for a long time, making every excuse in the book. Through a wonderful friend, scripture, and prayer God convicted me and showed me that I was being selfish. I had expectations and walls that were standing in the way of my relationship with God. So I finally went to church with an open mind. I have been attending regularly ever since and am starting to meet people and find opportunities to get involved and serve.

In addition I sometimes attend another church service with ladies from my Bible study. Last week this gave me the opportunity to witness to a woman at the deli counter in the grocery store. I left the store with an incredible feeling of joy.

Even with all that said, I still struggle finding happiness or even contentment in this place. This morning God gave me this verse: "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce." Jer 29:5 As I read that verse this morning I felt God's arms embrace me and God's voice whispering that I am where He wants me to be.

Now it is my responsibility to be content. I have a habit of always thinking about the future and what I can do to change, improve, get a better education, find a new job, move somewhere else. God is telling me to settle down, stay here, plant some roots. A few verses later, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

I pray the Lord gives me the strength and courage to find contentment in this place He has brought me.

Rising from the Depths

One of the most difficult parts of depression is describing your feelings to others who don't understand. Most are well-meaning and only want to help you, but they have never struggled with depression and have no clue how it feels. I have been trying to figure out how to describe the hopelessness that comes with depression, the feeling of being in the dark with no light to lead the way out. Then, God gave me inspiration-God knows what I am feeling and He has written it in His Word.

You may know Jonah as the guy who was inside a whale for three days (kind of like Geppeto in Pinocchio), but before Jonah was swallowed by the whale he was thrown into the ocean during a mighty storm. Jonah was tossed by the waves and pulled under by the forces of the current. Jonah sank beneath the waters and got twisted up in ocean flora. Jonah was drowning in the depths and had no way out but God sent a great fish to swallow Jonah. While Jonah was inside the fish he prayed to the Lord and described what depression feels like:

5 The waters engulfed me up to the neck;
the watery depths overcame me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 I sank to the foundations of the mountains;
the earth with its prison bars closed behind me forever!
(Jonah 2:5-6 Holmes Christian Standard Bible)

This imagery describes how I feel when I am lost in the claws of depression. The ocean demons are trying to drown me. But God raised Jonah from the pit and only God can raise me from the depths of depression.

God saved me from the deepest pit I could ever imagine, if it hadn't been for God's loving grace and intervention at the very moment I needed it I don't know what would have happened to me. But God, using my dad as His messenger, guided me to read Psalms. I remember screaming at my dad that I couldn't read the Psalms, I didn't understand them. My dad just said, well, try anyway. So, I did and this is the Psalm the Lord gave me that night, the Psalm that saved me. Especially verses 2 and 9. I cried to God because I was weak and weary, my bones were shaking. The gift is that God heard my prayer! That was the moment I knew I was not alone and that with God I could get through.

Psalm 6

1 Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger;
do not discipline me in Your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, Lord, for I am weak;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are shaking;
3 my whole being is shaken with terror.
And You, Lord—how long?
4 Turn, Lord! Rescue me;
save me because of Your faithful love.
5 For there is no remembrance of You in death;
who can thank You in Sheol?
6 I am weary from my groaning;
with my tears I dampen my pillow
and drench my bed every night.
7 My eyes are swollen from grief;
they grow old because of all my enemies.
8 Depart from me, all evildoers,
for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my plea for help;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be ashamed and shake with terror;
they will turn back and suddenly be disgraced.
Psalms 6:1-10 (HCSB)

This Psalm was like God reaching His hands down and lifting me from the ocean depths. Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace. Thank you Lord for your everlasting love!

What verses speak to you in times of distress? Do you have a special scripture that you turn to when you are feeling down? Please share!


Image'>http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=149">Image: federico stevanin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net